Bolivia Reflections: Final post

It has been a month since I left for Bolivia. I have had moments where I simply was stunned. They may seem like odd moments to you.

• The ability to drink water from the tap. After not drinking tap water for a week, it seemed so humbling to realize that I took that for granted. I started to cry because of so many people that I met were unable to have a basic necessity of life: water. 

• How about the ability to eat raw vegetables? If you know me, this seems odd, but I really missed eating foods without the threat of an illness. 

• Speaking of illness, I did catch some sort of virus. I went to the doctor (kicking and screaming by the way) and then headed off to the pharmacy. I had a) money to pay for my medication and b) access to medical care. I started to cry in the pharmacy. Believe me, I am well aware of some of the choices people have to make as a result of healthcare in this country. And when I think of some of the cases I had back in Washington, DC it still breaks my heart. 

I really can't figure out the world we live in. A lot of terrible things happen on a daily basis. None of it makes sense. I don't know...I just have a sense that this really isn't the way things are supposed to be. Yet as humanity tries to rectify it, we seem to do somethings better and then some other things get warped in the process. We have tried a variety of economic systems and nothing seems to "fix" the societal inequality that is deeply ingrained within the human condition. I'm not sure if I'm capable of arguing about it. I have a feeling that the economic inequality would be fixed if the spiritual poverty/inequality would be addressed first. And it doesn't mean distancing myself from the problems of today by simply saying "it's a spiritual problem" and washing my hands from it. Rather, it does, in fact mean, that I'm called to act drawn by grace, through faith, to be part of His body until, as my sage friend Swati says, "my time has expired." 

Bolivia Reflections (post 5): The watchman of the city

 Overlooking the city of Cochabamba is a statute of Jesus Christ. It wasn't built until the 1990s. I don't remember the factoids about the statute. Yes it's huge and yes, you can go inside of it. However, if you are claustrophobic or afraid of heights, I don't recommend it. I suppose if there was a statue of Jesus on a hill looking down over any city it would cause me to say/reflect over the same things.

Here is a city filled with the very wealthy and the very poor. There is no middle class - if there is one it's very very small by comparison to the general population. There's corruption driven by greed. There's exploitation of the people and the land. Often it is not safe to go out after dusk as gangs roam the streets. And there's a statute of Jesus looking over all of it with open arms - facing it, not turning His back from it. As I sit here and reflect upon these photos, it forces me to look at the fundamental premise of the cross which is redemption. One of my friends that I met at Monterey Church said to me once that she thought "in order to be Christian, I had to clean myself up. I thought I was the only one with a past and I wasn't good enough because you all seem so...perfect." Isn't interesting? And yet that's never been a requirement. As a matter of fact, God loves all of us in and through our messiness. And sometimes our hearts and our mess end up changing without even realizing it. We end up putting God in a box. I do it. I'll admit it. I forget that God parted the Red Sea, walked on water, defeated enemies of Israel without its help, healed the blind & lame, raised the dead. And I think that this trip forced me to see how much I put Him in a box. Miracles still happen every single damn day. Miracles take place in all shapes and sizes. The challenge is to ask and expect an answer - even if it's one that we don't necessarily think is the right one...there's always an answer. Perhaps that's the challenge: expect a miracle. The more that I expect a miracle, the more I'll see them?? Doesn't He challenge us to do that though? Doesn't He challenge us to ask?

Bolivia Reflections (post 4): Bolivian Women are Superwomen!

In Bolivia, you will see women selling fruit, juice, vegetables, meat and pizza on the street corners. These women are (typically) single mothers. Women in Bolivia bear the role of mother & father all too often. It is more than anyone should have to handle. These women walk long distances with their babies swaddled on their backs often until the age of 2. We did several home visits while in Bolivia. All of them were emotionally intense. I think it's hard to briefly enter someone's reality and witness their pain and suffering. 

Mike D., Susana (front, purple), Juana, cousin

My group met Susana and her daughter Juana. Susana has about 11 children. Yes, you read that right. 11. Juana is the youngest and her father died shortly after her birth about 8 years ago. Inside their home, there are three beds on top of dirt. There is no running water (i.e., no toilet, no sink, no washer, no dishwasher).  Approximately 7 - 9 people sleep in that tiny one-room home. Sadly, this is the world's "normal." On our home visits, we are allowed to ask our hosts questions about their daily lives. 

Susana's mother shared a little bit about what her life (and the lives of so many other women) are typically like in Bolivia. Susana usually wakes up about 5 - 5:30am. She walks down the mountain (perhaps it's more like a huge hill but it seemed like a mountain to me) to the city square. This is a 45 minute - 1 hour walk. She does not have money to spend on a bus or a taxi. Susana keeps her cart in storage. The storage owner charges her a fee for storing her cart there. She then has to go and buy some supplies from the store (if she's able to) and then begins working until 9:30 - 10:30 at night. Exhausted she gets up and does it all over again. Sometimes an older sibling will watch her and her cousin. Often children are home alone. I did not see any first responders in Bolivia. As a matter of fact, I did not see or hear a police car or ambulance. (Although there were plenty of police at the airport!) The homes in the poor areas cannot be left unattended. If they are temporarily vacated someone will either rob the family of what they have or literally throw them out and take over the property. In the poor areas of Bolivia, you will see effigies with signs attached to them that literally say: "Thieves stay away! You will be killed!" This is their equivalent of a neighborhood watch. 

Susana, like so many others, is in a constant struggle to keep it all together. Many single Moms and Dads face the same thing globally. Rent in Bolivia is collected in 6 months in advance. Susana has recently caught up on the rent; however she has to figure out how to pay for water. In Bolivia there are 2 water companies: Coca-cola and Pil. The latter is the one that delivers water to the residents in Cochabamba. The government does have a "set water price" however, since it is not enforced, companies often exploit families by charging them 2-3 times what they are legally allowed. The water isn't potable and must be sanitized in order to contain the cholera outbreak that is on-going in Bolivia. Things that I have taken for granted suddenly become quite complicated....

Bolivia Reflections (post 3): Plans to Prosper

For those of you that have been following this blog, do you remember when I mentioned the Pastor who prayed so intently and deeply for the wife of one of our team members? He told us "we can never repay you monetarily for what you've done but we can pray to our Father who hears and answers all our prayers." Well, the pastor at this site and the one that we met at the other site, both have given their lives to serve the poor. Talk about a calling. Talk about obedience when it would be much easier to pursue other opportunities that would be economically viable for their families. I am sure that there were and are many points that they come to the end of their rope and somehow God gives them a little bit more. 

While we were at #804, the pastor showed us his plans for expanding the church structure. In the midst of poverty, alcoholism, drug abuse, physical & sexual abuse, and abandonment there lies a vision of hope for God's people in the poorest zones of Cochabamba. They drew their plans and cast them before their Heavenly Father. In spite of their reality, they believe that God will help them build the rest of the church so that they can reach more of His children. And you know, I have no doubt that God will show up for them. The question is for me - and perhaps for you - is that do we have faith that God will show up for us? 

Bolivia Reflections (post 2): Animal Crackers

There were a lot of things that "struck me" on this trip. First and foremost is that the people I met were incredibly generous. The women at one of the sites made bags for all of us. These bags were hand-stitched and would probably retail at 40-50 dollars back home. That same site prepared a feast, literally, with a special dish and 4 cakes! It was to celebrate the anniversary of their church. A feast for us! On sponsor day, one family took the wool from their sheep and made a vest for their sponsor. And there were little moments too.

Johnny (2 yrs) 

We stopped at three sites: 2 Child Development Centers (CDC) and 1 Child Survival Project (CSP). At our first site,  CDC #804, I met and played with a lot of children. These kids are starved for attention because their parents are simply trying to survive. We spend 2 days at # 804 and I ended up meeting Johnny. He's 2. He doesn't say too much but simply runs around the center. His mother works in the kitchen at the site. Johnny, like most children, loves crackers. Yes, in Bolivia much to my delight, they have animal crackers. Johnny was sitting in the corner and spilled his on the floor. Another person from our team and I noticed this and we got him more crackers. Unlike an American child who would (most likely) have enjoyed getting an extra bag of crackers, Johnny could not understand why he would get another bag. Do you know what he did? He gave the new bag of crackers away to a friend. He did not see a reason to keep them for himself. And that, for whatever reason, has stuck with me. Maybe because my 2 year old self, let alone my current 31 year old self, would not have reacted in that way at all.

What is it about these people that enables them to give even though they have no idea where their next meal is coming from? The only way that I can explain it is through faith in God. Just as Jesus told us that He really does take care of us like He does all living things...these people have nothing but God to hold onto each and everyday. In many ways, that is a challenge to admit. We encourage self-reliance. Some utter the statement: "God helps those who help themselves" and I cringe at that. No, He doesn't. Go back and read the Bible. Time and time again God helps those who couldn't help themselves to show His Power and Love. Sure, God gave us a brain but at the end of the day - at least for me - everything does flow from Him. And truth be told, I forget that a lot.  It's quite easy to do so in our society. We can fix things - often quickly. In doing so, it's easy to forget or deny God or even make idols out of other things.

Bolivia Reflections (post 1) : Worthiness

I am sorry that it has taken me a long time to simply sit my butt in the chair and write. In many ways, although nearly a month has gone by, I am still grappling with everything that I had experienced. I truly don't know how to process all of it. For those of you that know me (all too well), I am the type of person who appears organized but isn't. I tend to let things get cluttered beyond my control and then the cycle of frustration begins, followed by an attempt at cleaning and organizing. While others would see the clutter starting and act...I tend to wait. It's insanity. And the mental clutter in my mind about Bolivia is piling up which is why I am writing now.

Meeting my sponsored children: 

I met both girls in one of the parks in Bolivia. It's like a mini-theme park/public park. We exchanged gifts - which is very humbling. And both girls looked at me with wide eyes and said: How far was it to come here? How did you get here? I told them that we took airplanes to get here. They asked me how many planes did it take to get here? I told them 4. And you know what, it was worth it to spend one day with them. It took a lot of money and time but it was absolutely worth it. Thank you all so much for making it possible.

Camila: 

Camila (age 6), her mother and brother, Bruno (8 mos.)

When I left for Bolivia, I had one sponsored child. Her name is Camila. On sponsor day, she was fortunate enough to have her mother and brother with her for the day. Camila's mother is the youngest of 11 children. Due to the size of her family and the lack of emphasis on educating females, she is illiterate. Her father is ill and was unable to attend that day. I'm not sure if he is truly ill or if it's a euphemism for alcoholism which is rampant in Bolivia.

The children in Bolivia shoulder a lot of responsibility in their households. Sometimes death, illness or absence, of a parent causes them to do more than I would have ever been able to do. Her mother told me that when Camila was 4 years old she became quite ill. If you've ever been to Latin America, you know that the stoves do not have a pilot light; instead, the gas comes through and you have to light a match to light the stove. I freaked out when I had to do this living in Argentina. I was 27 at the time. And hear I am listening to her tell me that a 4 year old learned how to a) light the stove, b) cut up the ingredients to make an omelette, and c) cook the whole damn thing. Camila learned to cook for her family because she had to and that even as a 4 year old, she was perceptive enough to see that she needed to help her mother.

Camila's mother runs a home-based business where she sells hand-crafts, eggs and other goods to her neighbors. She, like all parents, wants more for her children. However, she feels powerless and worthless due to her lack of education. What would you say if you had a mother sobbing in your arms knowing that your lives are so different? In the back of my mind, I started to ask the eternal question of why: Why was I born in the U.S.? Why did I have a family that is (relatively) functional? Why do I have access to clean water, food, and sanitation when so many in our human family don't? And then a little nugget of wisdom pops in my mind before I wrap myself up in all the un-ending whys: Why is not a spiritual question.  I learned that from a beautiful soul in Argentina and have carried it with me ever since. I looked at Camila's mother and started crying with her. And then I reminded her - like so many on my path have reminded me - that she is worthy.  I acknowledged the reality of her situation and told her that in my country there are children who have everything they could ever want but they don't have the one thing that they need: parents to guide them, to challenge them, and to help them reach their potential. "Yes, you are struggling but please, please see that you are the source of change for your children. It is by your faith, your love, and your willingness to encourage your children to pursue an education." She would respond: "I am nothing." And I would respond: "You are somebody , you are something, you are her Mother. And who she is and who she will be is because of you and God."

Day 1: We all matter

First of all, before I begin this post I will be adding pictures either to a different album or back to the posts themselves. I cannot connect my phone to the hotel computer. I know that pictures can make a big difference in helping others experience the realities that I am experiencing in Bolivia.

Date: Tuesday 23 June

Upon arriving in Cochabomba, Bolivia we were greeted by some of the children from the project. Boys and girls ages 5-13 greeted us with flags and a live Mariachi band. I can certainly say that I have never been greeted by a Mariachi band upon arrival! Shortly after exiting the airport a dance party ensued in the parking lot. We danced with one another and with the children. We danced as if no one was watching though some were with quisical looks on their faces.

Later, after lunch, we went to one of the sites. There we were greeted by at least 80 kids. The kids spent months practicing their songs and dances. They did it for us. Some were very nervous. And it was quite a humbling experience to have such love lavished upon us. Love that transcends the traditional ties -  unabashed lavish love on total strangers. When have I had the capacity to do that? We do. <i know I do but perhaps there is the fear of getting hurt or betrayed. Could I love "just because" and not long for anything in return? God does and God did when roaming the Earth over 2,000 years ago. Awhile ago, a friend of mine sent me a link to a talk by Graham Cooke: The Language of Heaven. While there is much to say about that talk, Cooke brings up an interesting point about Zaccheus when he came down from the tree. Somewhere among the branches down to the ground Zaccheus, the despised tax collector, had a change of heart. He decided to reimburse everyone he ever cheated. Every single person! Something must have happened...something powerful. Jesus never scolded him. In fact, he bestowed honor on him by dining at his home. In being here in Bolivia, the answer finally came: unabashed, radical, pure, unadulterated love. The kind of love that draws us to the light and declares boldly "You are mine!" And there is nothing that will break that bond. Perhaps Zaccheus saw it in Jesus´ eyes that he loved "just because" and in and of itself was raw and transformative. Jesus is among these kids. They love because He loves. They love in spite of their conditions.

I learned from one of our interpreters that there are 7 highly polluted cities in Latin America. Cochabomba happens to be one of them. The combination of a high altitud, dust, and smog (which is so thick that you cannot through it) is quite toxic. I don´t even want to think about the health problems here. While we are here in Bolivia we will tour 3 sites: 2 Child Development Programs & 1 Child Survivor Program. Today´s site was #704. All of our sites are in the "rough side of town." At this particular site there are approximately 350 children that attend/receive care through Compassion. Each site has a church connected to it. The Pastor of this site explained that through Monterey Church´s partnership with Compassion they were able to build their kitchen and expand. At one point, he said that they were about to despair becausethey lacked funding for the expansion. It was at that moment that God connected this church with mine. I can´t help but think about the versus that speak of God´s intimacy in knowing us - the number of hairs on our heads...All of our needs matter. And the church(es) here boldly walk out on faith by praying over blueprints to continue the expansion - 2 floors above the kitchen. It´s as if God said to the Pastor "see I didn´t forget you. Watch what I can do." 

Then after seeing both of the rooms that we helpled fund, we received news that the wife of one of our group members was hospitalized back home. Her condition was fairly serious. The pastor remembered her from last year´s visit - but even if he didn´t I think his prayer would have been the same. He told us that when we pray for others, we ought to pray as if their suffering were happening in our own body because we, after all, are in one body, the body of Christ. I never heard it that way. Never have I experienced such a powerful prayer either. I never thought about interceding for someone in this manner. By the way, she was supposed to stay in the hospital overnight. She ended up leaving the hospital 3 hours later. Her husband said that her demeanor was completely restored. The pastor at this particular sight said "even though we can never re-pay you monetarily for what you have done, we have prayer. And our Father hears our prayers and answers them."

Rumbo a Sudamerica - Heading towards South America

Hi Everyone! 

  I am writing to let you know that I will be heading to Bolivia on Monday. I'm more excited than nervous about the trip. I have no idea what will happen when I'm down there - I just know that I am supposed to go. I am not sure how often I will have access to the internet when I'm on the ground in Bolivia; however, I will be keeping a journal in order to share my experiences when I get back. 

I had an interesting conversation with my Mom today. I am not worried about my trip. Somehow, I think that my mother's gray hairs are more my doing than my brothers. Opps! I mean "wisdom highlights." Anyway, she said "how can you go to a place where you can't drive home?" Technically, it is possible to drive home from Bolivia but I get her point. I think the underlying question was: how can you go to a country where there isn't a fall-back plan if it doesn't work out? I don't think that way. I have done plenty of things without having a fall-back plan or a contingency plan. I think more often than not, we live our lives  that way. Very few people have fall-back plans when their marriages fail or when their job is terminated or a loved one suddenly dies. There is no "plan B" that comes immediately into effect. It doesn't work that way. We wail, we mourn, we struggle, and we have faith that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. Somehow, I have found that worry is a choice. And there are, in fact, some days when I inadvertently choose to worry. I choose it! I wallow in worry and then wake up with the same problem. When I worry, I fail to see solutions. When I don't worry, I see solutions. I believe that if there are problems in Bolivia, I will find the solutions that I need to work through them. So friends, please pray for a successful trip back and forth to Bolivia. I look forward to checking in with you soon! 

 Blessings,

Allie 

Turn off the news on TV and tune into this

I'm tired of being bombarded with negative news. How about good news for a change. The following is an excerpt from: Hope Rising: How Christians Can End Extreme Poverty in This Generation. (pp. 23 – 24).  Who knew...ending extreme poverty really is possible. Check this out:

These statistics will shock you. You may wonder why you haven't seen them before:

• From 2000 to 2011, the number of kids dying from measles has declined by 71 percent (from 542,000 deaths per year to 158,000) because we are completing the work of immunizing every child.
  
  
•  Worldwide, between 2000 and 2012, estimated malaria mortality rates fell by 45 percent in all age groups ... and most of them (3 million) were kids.
  
• We used to say that 40,000 children die each day from preventable causes. Since 1990 the global under-five mortaility rate has dropped 47% from 90 deaths per 1,000 live births in 1990 to 48 in 2012.
  
• Every day there are 20,000 fewer children dying of preventable causes – every day! ... If we keep our current pace of progress, we will soon live in a world where massive numbers of children will no longer die of preventable causes.
  
• In 2000 there were 102 million children of primary school age not in school – mainly due to poverty. By 2011 that number had been cut in half, to 57 million. That's 45 million children getting an education. Literacy rates are climbing. Those gains were made in less than 10 years.
   
• The number of HIV infections and AIDS-related deaths has fallen dramatically, according to a UN report. Death rates fell from 2.3 million during its peak in 2005 to 1.6 million last year, says UNAIDS. The number of new HIV infections fell by a third since 2001 to 2.3 million. 

 

The Cross is like a Lexus?

           Last weekend, I was catching up with another friend of mine from college. This particular friend is also graduating from graduate school; however, she is graduating with another Master's degree. This time, in business administration. And this particular person is incredibly successful in every sense of the word. She's goal driven, she has worked in finance for a very long time and put in long hours in the office. She does work very hard. While we were talking and catching up, she almost sounded embarrassed that her parents were buying her either a BMW or a Lexus. She - for whatever reason - sounded guilty and yet she had no reason to feel this way. She earned a full ride to her graduate school. She is financially independent of her family. And suddenly it hit me.
          I reminded her that her parents were truly proud of her. They wanted to express their love, pride, and affection for her by buying her a really nice car. She thinks it's too much. It's too expensive. It's too nice. Isn't the cross that way? I mean really, God came down and offered Himself up for all of us. He paid a price that none of us - not even the wealthiest person on the planet - could afford. The cross is extravagant, we don't deserve it - but God loves us enough regardless of how many times we have fallen short in this lifetime - to lavish us with His love, praise and forgiveness.

So, you speak Spanish. Do you like puppets?

“So, Allie what are you going to do while you’re in Bolivia?” When mentioning the Bolivia mission trip, I’m asked that question a lot. To be honest, I don’t know why I’m going. What would you do if you had to say…”well, the only reason I'm going is because God told me to go.” And some probe further, “Yeah, but what are you going to do?” Half the time, I feel like Jesus is holding my hand and we’re going through a trail in the dead of night. I can only see so far ahead of me. Right now,  I don’t have a lot of clarity about my life in general. Maybe that’s a good thing…anyway, I’ll continue to attempt to answer the most frequently asked question…in my typical roundabout way.

            Usually after the 11am service, I head upstairs to the children’s church. Haley, my friend’s daughter, is 3 and, of course, she’s my buddy. So I have to get a hug from Haley. Needless to say, I ran into the kid’s church pastor who is also going on this year’s mission trip. He says, “So, I hear you speak Spanish.” I affirmed his statement and he said: “Good. I was wondering who was going to help interpret for the puppet show. You like puppets, don’t you?” Then he proceeded to show me the puppets hanging on his office wall. How could I say no?!

            So, what I can say is that my answer is evolving. I am now going to Bolivia because: a) God told me to and b) I get to participate in the puppet show for the children. The answer really isn’t that simple. Really, it’s not. I sense that God is taking me to Bolivia to experience two things: a deeper form of powerlessness and a deeper awareness of spiritual poverty. I don't quite know how these things will shape up.

            Powerlessness, like people, comes in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors. In a previous life, I worked as a Case Manager for a nationally known non-profit. Some days, for example, I would come home from work and wonder why I could pay my rent and so many others could not. If one of my friends started to complain about their work, I’d bring up a situation that I felt absolutely powerless over and hit them over the head with it. In some ways, I felt that it gave me power – it really didn’t. That kind of job wears a lot of people out. It certainly wore me out – I didn’t have any faith and if there was a God, why did life have to suck for so many people? I still don’t have the answer to that one – even though I do believe in God.

            So yes, there are different levels of powerlessness. Traffic. That’s a great example. We are all powerless over traffic. Then there’s the powerlessness of rejection – whether it’s by a romantic interest, a friend, or even family members. How about when a home burns to the ground? That happens more often than not in California. One of my close friends lost her home this year. The list can go on and on. Have you ever made a list of all the things that you are powerless over? If not, make one. It’s a great exercise. And the answer still is the same – no matter how many times I do it: I’m powerless over the external but powerful over the internal. That’s really it. Powerlessness isn’t an adversary. It doesn’t have to be – though it may feel like one at times. I guess it depends on our perception. If I simply accept that it exists, I can embrace it. And I take it one step further: I can embrace it with God’s help. Easier said than done. I know.

            Now the spiritual poverty thing. First off, let me be clear I am not one of those wealth is evil type of people.  I agree with my homeboy Dave Ramsey who says that wealth is a great magnifier of who you are. Allow me to poorly paraphrase Dave:

 If you were an asshole before you became wealthy, you are (more often than not) an asshole on an even larger scale. If you were generous before you became wealthy, you are (more often than not) even more generous.

I am not a “stuff” person. It drives my mother crazy because “stuff” is part of her love language. It’s not part of mine. Not really – unless you count books. I love books – writing in them, the texture of the page, the smell of them. This isn’t to say that I’m not attached to certain things that are of great sentimental value. I am. While technically, admittedly, below the poverty line I am not poor in terms of global poverty. I still have access to food and water (as long as California has it). I can pay my rent. I also have access to healthcare. Have I been on skid row in L.A.? Yes. Have I lived on skid row in L.A.? Hell no. Do I see opportunities to get out of the poverty line? Yes. I do. But sometimes, I forget who ultimately drives the bus.

            I am fortunate to have close friends in various parts of the country. Some of whom have donated and supported me on this wacky spiritual adventure. My friend Sarah and I often call each other – some how we tend to balance each other out. When I feel overwhelmed and “my crazy” comes to visit, Sarah reminds me: Who’s driving the bus? You or God. I forget that God is ultimately driving the bus. That’s what I mean. I’m spiritually poor because I forget that everything flows from and back to God – these people in Bolivia are dependent on God for everything. Even in their lack, there is a great abundance in the spiritual bank account.

Buy the Crib, Go to Bolivia

One night, our dGroup joined another small group meeting at the church. It was at this meeting where I met Brandy. My group already knew that I was discerning about Bolivia. It came up in prayer a few times and in a dream. I thought God wanted me to sponsor a little girl instead of going to Bolivia. Isn’t that big enough when working (a few) part-time while in school? Reluctantly, I opened up to the group that night about Bolivia. I told them that it isn’t logical. It doesn’t make any sense. That’s when Brandy shared with me her story.

            I don’t really know Brandy very well. It’s funny how God puts people at the right place, at the right time. Anyway, Brandy shared with me about how she and her husband struggled to conceive a child. After years of trying to conceive a child of their own and seeing fertility  specialists, they finally accepted that having a child of their own wasn’t in the cards for them. So, Brandy began to pray to let go of the dream that she had of becoming a mother and accept God’s will. During one of her moments in prayer, God told her to buy a crib and set it up.  It didn’t make sense. And to a certain extent, she thought that she was crazy. Did she read the spiritual memo wrong? Somehow though, she had the courage to follow through and answer His request. She went to Target. Passing through the infant section, I can only imagine the thoughts going through her mind. She told me that her thoughts were similar to mine: this isn’t logical, if others knew that she was doing this they might think that she lost her mind, how were they going to have a child when they were told it wasn’t possible.  After pacing back and forth, she finally bought the crib. And yes, she set it up. A week or two later, a little baby boy was in the crib. His parents are part of her husband’s extended family. God answered her prayer – it wasn’t how she expected it.

            So, that night I went home and said, I’ll go.  I told him, “if you want me to go Lord, I’ll need your help. If this is really your plan.” I set up my account on GoFundMe and within 2.5 weeks, my trip was almost fully funded! Clearly, I’m meant to go.

Judgy Mcjudgy Pants.

Life is funny. I totally agree with John Lennon’s quote: “If you want to make God laugh tell him your plans.” There are a lot of things I never expected. I never expected to cross paths with a girl from Tanzania who told me about Monterey Church.  I certainly never, ever, expected to actually like that church. I kept coming back. And I never expected become Christian and get baptized in the Pacific Ocean (in December). Now, some of you may be like: wait a minute, you’ve been raised Catholic. You’ve already been baptized. Yes. True. However, God didn’t speak to me through the Catholic church. I didn’t know Jesus. I knew of Jesus in an historical and theological way.  I just didn’t know him in a “heart” way. 

            I can’t remember which book it’s in, but I think it’s either in Matthew or Mark where Jesus is standing outside the disciples’ boat. It’s dark. It’s cold. He wants in the boat. And I can’t help but think of that as a great metaphor for humanity. He wants to get in the boat. He wants to get in your boat and my boat. Waiting silently, patiently.  He doesn’t judge the type of boat. It could be a dingy or a yacht. He just wants in to help guide it safely ashore. Perhaps, I’m more of an Armenian than a Calivnist. I am absolutely convinced that God is calling every single human being back to Himself. Yet, we ignore His call. We take pride in our  (scientific) advances and achievements. Secretly, humanity thinks that we can outdo God; however, God won’t be outdone.

            As I mentioned to you in my letter, Bolivia truly wasn’t on my radar. I didn’t want to go to Bolivia. As a matter of fact, I judged people who went on international mission trips. The church that I am currently attending has small groups called discipleship groups or dGroups. I joined a dGroup when I first began going to Monterey church to get to know the community a bit better. During my first meeting, there was a woman who shared about her trip to Bolivia. As I listened to her, I became a bit angry. I spent several weeks during the summer working with children from a low-income area. I would hear them tell me about the gun shots from the local gangs that they would hear at night in the neighborhood.  And I looked at her and said: “Why would you go thousands of miles away to help people in need there when there are so many people that need help here? I don’t understand you people who go and do service abroad and pat yourselves on the back and ignore the poor here.” She looked at me with those shining eyes – this woman just radiates Jesus’ love and said “It motivates me to serve people here.” And she does serve people here. She literally goes and prays with perfect strangers. She reminds them of God’s call – that the Father loves all of us. Yes, I was a little judgmental perhaps. Ok, not a little. I was very judgmental. Little did I know that He was going to call me to go to Bolivia.

Welcome!

Hello everyone!

 Thank you so much for your support. I truly could not have done it without you! As promised, I have started the blog that I will keep up as I go through the process of going to Bolivia. I am not sure whether or not I will have a steady internet connection or the time to update the blog while in Bolivia. However, I will copy my journal entries and update all of you after the fact.

Some of you have known me for a long time. Some of you are friends of my parents who know me in a limited context. And some of you are family and have a chance to get to know me in a different way. To a large degree this blog is about my journey but it isn’t. I have a feeling that God is going to work His way through this blog. Faith is a lifelong process and journey. A friend of mine reminded me that God “speaks to all of us in different ways.” Perhaps God will do just that through this blog. I don’t know.  I have left the comments section open. I will not monitor it. So, be nice to one another. If you have something that you would like to correspond with me about, please do so at: allie.holsen@gmail.com